This was written for couples, but I see a lot that can apply to everyones daily life. Love is an ACTION not a feeling.
Godly Love in Marriage
Jay Sklar, Ph.D.
Two Becoming One
Many of us remember the hit song that began, “Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name?” But have you ever thought about the meaning of the words? In particular, what kind of “love” does the singer have for the one he beholds? Given the fact that he does not even know her name, and given the rest of the lyrics, it becomes very clear that his “love” is little more than a feeling based upon physical attraction and nothing else.
Naturally, it is easy to recognize that this type of “love” is very shallow. In fact, we probably can’t even really call it love. But it does lead us to an important question: what do we mean when we use the word “love”? When you tell your spouse, ‘I love you,’ what is it that you truly mean? Often we are referring to a feeling that we have for our spouse. Naturally, there is nothing wrong with this! But something is very wrong if we think of love only as a feeling. God’s understanding of love is very different.
God’s Definition of Love
God provides us with a definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13. As you read through these verses, note that godly love is not just a warm feeling for someone.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).
This puts a whole new perspective on the meaning of the words, “I love you”!! Consider for a moment what this type of love looks like. “Honey, I love you. What I mean is I am patient and kind with you. I do not envy you, I do not boast in front of you, I am not proud before you. I am not rude to you, I seek your good and not my own, I am not easily angered by you, and I keep no record of your wrongs.” Wow! If only we could love like this all the time!
The Challenge of Godly Love
If we are honest, however, most of us will admit that this type of love is not always easy. Part of the reason for this is that we find it easier to be selfish than to be selfless. It is far easier for us to think about ourselves and our needs rather than the needs of those around us. When we live life in this way, however, those around us do not feel as though we truly love them. This is especially true when it comes to our spouses.
One of the primary characteristics of godly love, however, is that it is focused more upon others than upon ourselves. Did you notice verse 5 above? It says that love “is not self-seeking.” Indeed, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Of course, this is exactly the type of love that Jesus showed for us! And this is the type of love that we need to show to our spouses as well. How do we learn to love like this in our marriage?
Learning to Grow in Godly Love
There are no quick fixes to growing in godly love. Spiritual growth is much like physical growth: it’s a process that takes time. But just as physical growth is helped by solid nourishment, so too is spiritual growth. Here are two avenues that will provide some solid nourishment for our spiritual growth in love in marriage.
Getting to know Jesus – Jesus is the perfect model of selfless love. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands in particular are commanded to follow Jesus’ example as they seek to love their wives. If we would seek to love like Jesus, we need to be serious about getting to know Jesus more intimately. This happens through good fellowship with other Christians, reading God’s Word, and prayer. Again, this is not a “quick fix”. It is a process that takes time. But it will aid us greatly in learning to love with a godly love.
Relying upon the Holy Spirit – love is explicitly called a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22). As a result, godly love is not something that we muster up in our own strength. Instead, it is something that God Himself empowers us to do by His Holy Spirit. This means that we need to look to God in repentance and faith on a day-by-day basis for the strength of His Holy Spirit.
Tuesday, May 10
Monday, May 9
Anyone Else?
Does anyone else marvel at how fast Satan can strike at our hearts and minds. How one minute you can be focused on Christ and His might and the next minute you do or say something you shouldn't have...or don't do/say something you should have. Yeah, I just had one of those times. It's frustrating, but it also makes me so incredibly thankful that Christ is interceding for me to God. If He wasn't, I wouldn't stand a chance, poor pathetic wretch that I am when compared to His Holiness. Sometimes, when I'm feeling really strong spiritually, it's almost like, in the back of my mind, I can hear satan snickering. Like he's saying, "yeah...you just wait...". Frustrating. Thank God for the grace to fight on another day. Keep fighting with me brothers and sisters, and if you haven't started your fight yet, now's a great day to start!
Start the Cycle We Call the Week
I had another blessed weekend. I got to play baseball with a bunch of kids Sunday afternoon. That was a blessing. There were probably 20 kids ranging from 3-14yrs old. I got to be all time catcher. Fun Stuff. I pitched a couple innings too. I love baseball. All the kids did exceptionally well at getting along. No one kept score, and no one struck out. Even more impressive is no one had a bad attitude when someone was up to bat for a long time and kept missing the ball. I was proud of how all the kids played.
So, I'm at work on this Monday morning, and I have no "work". I've been reading Christian articles on the web for awhile this morning, and I came acrossed the following article. I really appreciated its challenge. I hope you do to. If you're not right where you want to be, then make this week the week you begin your new quest to seek God in all His Glory!!
PAY ATTENTION
By Dr. James MacDonald
Now therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation. Hebrews 2:1-2
The Christian life is not a destination; it’s a journey. While it began at a point in time when you came to the cross, it most certainly doesn’t stop there. Are you moving ahead into all the great things that God has for you?
One of the primary messages of the book of Hebrews is, “Keep up—don’t fall behind.” The author repeatedly warns believers in Christ Jesus to keep our relationship with God current. Don’t let your heart get hard, or cold, or calloused to the things of Christ but press on to what’s ahead. Hebrews 2:1 urges:
“Now therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.”
When you came to Christ you made some promises to God, right? How are you doing with them? Don’t drift away from the most important thing in your life. Here are some penetrating questions to keep your relationship with God moving ahead:
Does my life give evidence of a person truly redeemed by the Son of God?
Does my faith endure in hard times as well as good times?
Does my life reflect a growing pattern of righteousness?
Do I have an increasing hunger for God’s Word and a passion for God’s kingdom?
Is my love increasing for God and His people?
You say, “I don’t want to drift away. What can I do?” Perfect question! Your answer is in verse 1: “Therefore we must pay close attention.” What a great wake-up call! “Pay attention—this matters!” If you think you might be drifting away a little bit—come back! If you’ve been caught up in other things and lost sight of your primary purpose—come back to the Lord.
In the most loving way I know how, I urge you to stay on course. If it’s been several days . . . or weeks since you knelt in humility before the Lord with your life open before him, get on your knees right now. Review the five questions above. Ask the Lord to show you the areas of your heart that need a fresh touch from him and a recommitment from you.
So, I'm at work on this Monday morning, and I have no "work". I've been reading Christian articles on the web for awhile this morning, and I came acrossed the following article. I really appreciated its challenge. I hope you do to. If you're not right where you want to be, then make this week the week you begin your new quest to seek God in all His Glory!!
PAY ATTENTION
By Dr. James MacDonald
Now therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation. Hebrews 2:1-2
The Christian life is not a destination; it’s a journey. While it began at a point in time when you came to the cross, it most certainly doesn’t stop there. Are you moving ahead into all the great things that God has for you?
One of the primary messages of the book of Hebrews is, “Keep up—don’t fall behind.” The author repeatedly warns believers in Christ Jesus to keep our relationship with God current. Don’t let your heart get hard, or cold, or calloused to the things of Christ but press on to what’s ahead. Hebrews 2:1 urges:
“Now therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.”
When you came to Christ you made some promises to God, right? How are you doing with them? Don’t drift away from the most important thing in your life. Here are some penetrating questions to keep your relationship with God moving ahead:
Does my life give evidence of a person truly redeemed by the Son of God?
Does my faith endure in hard times as well as good times?
Does my life reflect a growing pattern of righteousness?
Do I have an increasing hunger for God’s Word and a passion for God’s kingdom?
Is my love increasing for God and His people?
You say, “I don’t want to drift away. What can I do?” Perfect question! Your answer is in verse 1: “Therefore we must pay close attention.” What a great wake-up call! “Pay attention—this matters!” If you think you might be drifting away a little bit—come back! If you’ve been caught up in other things and lost sight of your primary purpose—come back to the Lord.
In the most loving way I know how, I urge you to stay on course. If it’s been several days . . . or weeks since you knelt in humility before the Lord with your life open before him, get on your knees right now. Review the five questions above. Ask the Lord to show you the areas of your heart that need a fresh touch from him and a recommitment from you.
Thursday, May 5
Truth
Wow people. This week has been absolutely amazing. I have had a hunger for the truths of the Word that has been overwhelming. Between friends who are challenging me on issues (in a good way), and a mentor who is full of wisdom and is on fire for Christ, I have just been lifted up in a way that I never remember being before. When I read, the words seem to leap off the page at me. If you can't tell, I'm really at a loss for words as to how to describe this.
This morning I read John 8:30-36. Vs. 31&32 read:
...for if you continue in my Word, then are you my disciples indeed. 32 And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
That set me on fire! His Word folks, that's where freedom is found. Not in your preacher, not in your church, not in your family, although those can all be wonderful blessings, it's in the WORD! The Word which we have readily available. We are so blessed.
I looked up "continue" in the Strongs and two of the definitions struck me.
1. to be held, kept, continually
2. to remain as one, not to become another or different
If we remain "as one" with the Word...if we strive to "not become different" than the Word...if we are "held, kept" by the Word we will be set free!
Are you obedient to Truth or are you obedient to emotions and to men?
Blessed are those which do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.
Do you "hunger and thirst"? If not, why not? Start today brothers and sisters. Open your Bible and read it for Truth! Not because you "should", or because you "have to", but because of the desire of the Christian to be filled with righteousness, and to have true freedom from sin!!
Another short side note. I notice since I've been blogging. That the vast majority of comments that are left on my blog are to the light-hearted posts. While I have no problem with anyone leaving light-hearted comments, I would encourage you to leave your spiritual comments too. For we are all members one another. We are all here to edify and build up each other and teach each other. May we all strive together toward that glorious goal!
This morning I read John 8:30-36. Vs. 31&32 read:
...for if you continue in my Word, then are you my disciples indeed. 32 And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
That set me on fire! His Word folks, that's where freedom is found. Not in your preacher, not in your church, not in your family, although those can all be wonderful blessings, it's in the WORD! The Word which we have readily available. We are so blessed.
I looked up "continue" in the Strongs and two of the definitions struck me.
1. to be held, kept, continually
2. to remain as one, not to become another or different
If we remain "as one" with the Word...if we strive to "not become different" than the Word...if we are "held, kept" by the Word we will be set free!
Are you obedient to Truth or are you obedient to emotions and to men?
Blessed are those which do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.
Do you "hunger and thirst"? If not, why not? Start today brothers and sisters. Open your Bible and read it for Truth! Not because you "should", or because you "have to", but because of the desire of the Christian to be filled with righteousness, and to have true freedom from sin!!
Another short side note. I notice since I've been blogging. That the vast majority of comments that are left on my blog are to the light-hearted posts. While I have no problem with anyone leaving light-hearted comments, I would encourage you to leave your spiritual comments too. For we are all members one another. We are all here to edify and build up each other and teach each other. May we all strive together toward that glorious goal!
Monday, May 2
Mini Cooper...why?...what are YOU looking at?
For all you fans of the Mini Cooper.......yeah....
posted by Luke
Grape Face
Dang Joe...this is a pretty unflattering picture...Too bad you don't have a blog anymore, so you can't post unflattering pictures of me. :)
posted by Luke
Yeah, who all remembers this night. Crazy good times. What was the most? 23? Wow.
ME
It's ME!
posted by Luke
yeah, pretty much the only reason I even posted this is so I could use the URL in my profile.
Monday
For all who care about such things, Les Miserable was great. It's a very soul moving musical.
Saturday I got to sleep in! First time in a LONG time. After lunch I went to my brothers and we started to clean out the gas tank on the motorcycle that we've been fixing up. Then around 3:00 we took his kids and went to some land we have down by the Mackinaw River and went mushroom hunting. We didn't find anything, but it was the first time I had seen our land down there, and it was fun being in the woods.
Saturday night I was at Blake Knapps for a Bible study with the ICC/Bradley group, and a few others thrown in that were not ICC/Bradley. I got to talk to Kellen Kirchner for awhile. I'm excited for the K-State group that he's going out there. I really hope things work out well for him.
Sunday I was in Washington ALL DAY. First time in a LONG time that's happened. It was a blessing. I'm already really starting to love that church. I had a lazy Sunday afternoon. Read a magazine. Ate popcorn. Played guitar. My sister Sandy and her husband Tim and their kids came over around 6:30 or so. We just sat around and talked. That was a blessing.
Well, there was another run down of my weekend.
I was challenged Sunday by a friend to "look for little gifts that God gives you during the week. Little 'evidences' that He's there, lollipops from God, if you will." So that's my goal this week...is to be watching for God in my everyday life and not get caught up in my "routine".
Saturday I got to sleep in! First time in a LONG time. After lunch I went to my brothers and we started to clean out the gas tank on the motorcycle that we've been fixing up. Then around 3:00 we took his kids and went to some land we have down by the Mackinaw River and went mushroom hunting. We didn't find anything, but it was the first time I had seen our land down there, and it was fun being in the woods.
Saturday night I was at Blake Knapps for a Bible study with the ICC/Bradley group, and a few others thrown in that were not ICC/Bradley. I got to talk to Kellen Kirchner for awhile. I'm excited for the K-State group that he's going out there. I really hope things work out well for him.
Sunday I was in Washington ALL DAY. First time in a LONG time that's happened. It was a blessing. I'm already really starting to love that church. I had a lazy Sunday afternoon. Read a magazine. Ate popcorn. Played guitar. My sister Sandy and her husband Tim and their kids came over around 6:30 or so. We just sat around and talked. That was a blessing.
Well, there was another run down of my weekend.
I was challenged Sunday by a friend to "look for little gifts that God gives you during the week. Little 'evidences' that He's there, lollipops from God, if you will." So that's my goal this week...is to be watching for God in my everyday life and not get caught up in my "routine".
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