Humor

I needed a little humor this morning. Here's what I found.
1. Custom at Duquesne University dictated that if a professor was ten minutes late, class was canceled. One professor arrived early for a 9 a.m. lecture. He placed his hat on his desk, and went to the faculty room. Before he knew it, it was 9:10. By the time he got back to his classroom, it was empty. The next day, he let his students have it. "When my hat is here," he fumed, "I'm here!" The following day, the professor arrived at 9 a.m. He was met by the sight of 28 hats on 28 desks -- and no students.
--Joke Contributed by Albert I. Raizman


2. Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. "Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?" I asked. "Oh, no," she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock."
--Joke Contributed by Nancy M. Payne


3. Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
--Joke Contributed by Bette Moeggenborg


4. When I was a kid, my dad and I had a running joke. If anyone asked what he did for a living, I was to reply, "He's a sports mechanic. He fixes boxing matches and horse races." Once, I answered a teacher this way. She flipped out and summoned my parents. Dad calmed her down by explaining it was a joke. "So what do you do?" she asked. Dad, a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company, said, "I sell drugs."
--Joke Contributed by Gina Bennicasa


5. Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
--Joke Contributed by Walt Lile
Have you ever thought about our sense of humor? Isn't it a wonderful gift! Yet we all have a little different sense of it. Does your family have any jokes or sayings that they find funny that no one else would find even slightly amusing? Mine definitely does. We have little one-liners that have stemmed from stories we've told. The one-liners tell very little about the actual account, but they remind us of it, and we can share a chuckle. (chuckle's a funny word!)

Let me know your favorite one, and tell me what you think my favorite one would be. We'll see how similar our sense of humors are. :)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the jokes. They came from Readers Digest